Porsche 911 Turbo 2007: A supercar – finally

Porsche 911 has always been one of the best exponents of the genre of cars that we happen to call sports cars. The 911 was always perceived as one of the best engineered, most reliable, classy and practical sports car ever since the time it was first produced in 1964. However, it was in 1975 that Porsche plonked in a turbo under the bonnet to make a car that was powerful and fast enough to quench the egos of big, hairy men.

People kept admiring the perennially beautiful teardrop shape of this car – a timeless masterpiece of Ferdinand Porsche. The number of fans kept growing as Porsche became the world’s most profitable car company. The 911 became the epitome of flawless engineering and undiluted driving pleasure. But it never succeeded in qualifying as a supercar. The Ferraris were always faster around corners, the Lamborghinis were always more beautiful, the Astons were more sonorous and even the Corvettes were quicker in a straight line. The Porsche Carrera GT was a genuine supercar, but it never gathered the attention it deserved. 911s in the meantime continued to be seen as the best sports cars – but nothing more than that.

The new 911 turbo has changed all that. Those who’ve been getting away with calling the Turbo an onanist’s drive better run to save their own balls now – this car is faster than many a Prancing Horses, Raging Bulls and Vipers of the world. Very recently Germany’s Autobild magazine conducted a 0-100 -0 km/h (acceleration and braking) test, and the 911 turbo grabbed the top spot with an amazing time of 6.16s.

With a 0 to 100km/h time of a searing hot 3.7s, and a top speed of more than 310km/h the newest 911 has made people at Ferrari and Lamborghini rethink the ways to justify the hefty price tags on their cars. While the latter two always had their noses ahead of the 911 on the track, the Porsche was always a more practical and rational car to drive. In its latest avatar, the Turbo is no slower if not faster than the other two machines (read Ferrari F430 and Lamborghini Gallardo). This in effect means that you have to be a little foolish, ok passionate, if you like, to choose the other two impractical and insensible cars over the ambidextrous marvel from Stuttgart. The 911 happens to be the most fuel efficient of the three as well.

There’s a special Sports Chrono package available with the new Turbo, which has an overboost function to increase turbo pressure by about 2.9 psi, giving maximum torque of 502 pound-feet. The 911 anyways is a terrific car when it comes to torque and driveability, but the additional Chrono pack means that you just need to floor the paddle in any gear to nudge past the maximum attainable speed.

Porsche has rammed the 911 tight with technology this time around. Things like VarioCam Plus variable camshaft timing, Porsche Traction Management system (PTM), Porsche Stability Management (PSM), Porsche Active Suspension Management (PASM) might sound like phrases from an alien language to us, but for a driver it means that the cars handles like a fly around the track. The exhaust valves are sodium filled to aid cooling –amazing what people would do for speed!

The 911 happens to be a car which is up there with the best when it comes to engineering, technology and precision. It’s the most neutral and correct under steering, which makes it lightening fast around a track. And to best it all, you can use it daily to commute to work. Unlike the preposterous Enzo Ferrari that burns its clutch in only three full blown launches, this car doesn’t burn a hole in your pocket every time you want to go fast. Go buy this one if you love speed, if you aren’t pretentious and if you could laugh it off if someone said that you masturbate a lot.

IF YOU BUY IT

You’re cool because

Your car is technologically as advanced and as loaded with software as a spaceship.

Your piece of machinery is the most precise and well-engineered in the world

Of all the cars known to men, yours brings the widest grin on their faces while driving

You give a flying fuck to what people have to say, and know what actually is best for you

You’re a fool because

The 911s are as commonly sighted as idiots in America

You’ll always be looked upon as a wannabe who couldn’t afford a Ferrari

Every single mark, grey hair or visible vein on your body will be related with excessive masturbation

No one would believe it when you say that it’s a supercar